Day 31: Right Here, Right Now

Day 31
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

"Right Here, Right Now" is some cheesy song by a cheesy band, right? Trying to continue with my "non judgemental observation" mantra, I notice that during my yoga practice my thoughts either drift to the past or to the future. The challenge is keeping my focus and energy right here - right now, if you will. :) It seems to take constant redirection. Observing where I may drift off to mindfully, and returning gently to the present. Over and over again.

Currently I'm reading "Everyday Blessings: the Inner Work of Mindful Parenting". (If you haven't read it, you should read it. Even if you aren't a parent.) I find it curious that it is easier for me to be mindful when I'm parenting than it is when I'm all alone after everyone has gone to bed and it's just me practicing yoga. My mind wanders more and it is harder to return to the present. When I'm doing our day to day stuff with Jude I remind myself to be here witnessing this moment with my baby. Smell him. Kiss him. Watch and observe what he's doing. Snuggle. Breathe. Maybe it's easier because I'm aware that this moment will never repeat itself. He'll never be 26 weeks and 4 days old again. ...

It's harder when it's just me. Looking inwards rather than to something that is (now) outside of myself.

Day 30: Creatures of Habit

Day 30
PM Yoga Flow 25 minutes

Well, PM relaxation yoga is definitely becoming a routine. A healthy one. Ideally, I'd practice more yoga during the day, but this winding down at the end of each day is going really well for me. I'm able to squeeze out soreness, stiffness, and tension before I lay me down to sleep. There is another routine that I am falling in love with... story time. It actually starts about an hour before we'd like Jude to go to sleep... tonight it was 7:45. We'd made Jude mashed potats & peas for dinner. He ate a few bites - peas were new for him. And they were very green, his dish kind of looked like play-doh. But, I think they grew on him. Then I just let him play with his bowl. Textures are good for baby exploration, no? Peas and potats everywhere. :) He enjoyed himself. Then, we got his bath ready. That is the first step in our nighttime routine. He loves "splash-splash" as we call it. He may be outgrowing his baby tub because he lunges forward and holds on to the edges and kind of tries to crawl out of it. Errrrr, this may be where I'm a little bit in denial of how old and advanced he is. We cleaned up our pea-covered son and then we snuggle him in a blanket, dry him off, and get our pjs on. Then we settle into our rocker for nursing while daddy lays on the floor and reads us a story. Currently we are re-reading "Cat's Cradle" by Vonnegut. One of my faves.

These are the moments I cherish. I look at the three of us, listening to a story, nursing my son, watching him fall asleep (or sometimes sip and then jump up to look at daddy before going in for another sip), and I am so content and happy with my life.

Tonight he was out by 8:45. Success! I should keep track of this bedtime/sleeping adventure and see where we're at after we give it 45 days...

Day 29: A Very Merry Unbirthday!

Day 29
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

Whenever I think of half-birthdays, the song from the cartoon Alice in Wonderland runs through my head, "A very merry unbirthday to you!" Today is Jude's half birthday!! In other words, he's 6 months today and he is absolutely amazing. I wanted to do something special to celebrate, but instead we hung out all day in our pajamas. Kind of becoming a Sunday tradition. He is crawling all over the living room, and he can get to anything that he thinks is interesting! I'm so proud of him.

I am a bit frustrated about my toe and just myself physically right now in this moment! It started with my toe, then yesterday I bashed my shin into something and got my pinky finger wedged in between a chair and a table. Then today I found a bruise on my forearm that I have no recollection of how it got there. And finally, I was distracted while making dinner and I burned 6 out of my 10 fingers. My energy must be off balance - I have been super clumsy. :(

Day 28: Hanging in There!

Day 28
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

I do love my relaxation flow, I really do. My breathing is improving, I'm able to listen to my body and give it what it needs, my alignment is improving, and it helps me sleep. However, I'm antsy for variety. Tomorrow I am going to try and go to a class - I just hope my toe cooperates. It's really bruised, you guys. I think it's broken. :( Luckily it is only a toe! Not the whole foot! But, I can feel how it's messing with my joints and balance.

Tonight I'm up so late (for me - lame it's a Saturday night!) is because I just finished Jude's Christmas present. And I think it may be the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Besides Jude, of course.

Day 27: Non Judgemental Observation

Day 27
PM Yoga Flow 25 minutes

Unfortunately last night (as I was up too late to make any sense, if you recall) I was walking to the guest room and I stepped on an unidentified object that wrapped around the big toe on my right foot and caused it to twist. Fortunately before I could fall to the floor, I landed in a chair, so my right ankle didn't twist too badly at all. Aargh. This is the ankle that I sprained horribly ON MY DUE DATE and was swollen and painful - and never quite right - until Jude was about 3 months old. Aargh. This morning, my big toe is swollen and black and blue and beautifully bruised. Aargh.  It looks like I will be sticking to some gentle yoga until the toe heals. Did I say aargh??




My little turkey... well he's more of "a ham".


Non judgemental observation was my mantra tonight as I meditated and did my relaxation flow. Meditation is challenging for me (as I'm sure it is for everyone to some degree) because I can't seem to quiet my mind. Getting frustrated doesn't help. Getting lost in my thoughts doesn't help. Judging myself and what a terrible meditator (yeah, that's not a real word) I am doesn't help. So, instead, when thoughts come into my mind as they repeatedly do, I am trying to let them pass without judgment. Attempting to observe them without judging them as positive or negative. If I acknowledge them, perhaps "tag" them, then I can let them pass and try to stay in the moment as best I can. It's my current strategy - it seems to help a bit. My thoughts seems to wander into both the past and future. They also wander into a past that never was and a future that probably never will be.

This reminds me of a NEW quote - a morsel of wisdom if you will - from my amazing Uncle Cliff : "Maybe I'm not what I could be. Maybe I'm not what I should be. But, I'm better than I used to be." ... or something along those lines.



Perfect just the way we are.



Day 26: Thanksgiving

Day 26
PM Yoga Flow 30 minutes

I just finished a great yoga fest with Megan. At the end of such a wonderful Thanksgiving day. We have so much to be thankful for. A healthy baby, supportive family, Christmas just around the corner, warmth, more than enough food, togetherness, joy, beauty, honesty, basic necessities, more than enough love, acceptance, and much much more.

I can't think very well right now, it's soo past my bedtime.

Day 25: It is what it Is

Day 25
PM Yoga Flow 20 minutes

it is thanksgiving eve. it is happy happy baby boy. it is oatmeal cookies. it is a busy busy mamma. it is one moment at a time. it is creating memories. it is sweet healthy baby rolls. it is sitting up. it is crawling. it is interested in whatever mamma is doing. it is christmas shopping. it is tired. it is snow and ice.

it is what it is.

Day 24: Cabin Fever

Day 24
Namaste Yoga - DVR - Earth Flow 30 min.

It's cold and we've been mostly stuck inside... hence the "cabin fever".
Typing with one hand and holding an 18 lb human in the other is challenging...

Day 23: Halfway!

Day 23
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

I would have loved to get some more yoga in today - but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. The babe was really fussy (for him) today. He pretty much wanted me to carry him around all day and not set him down! Hard to get anything done that way... So, he ended up crying a lot (for him). And when he did nap, I wanted to get other things done; like, make pasta sauce, finish up some crafts, and clean up the house. Yoga got put on the back burner. But, I did squeeze it in at the end of the day while Jude was playing happily on the floor. Waiting for Daddy to get home, who was working late.

Maybe he is teething, or in a growth spurt, or just under the weather. His voice is a little raspy, he's fussy, and tired. He slept well last night - was in bed for 12 hours and probably slept for 11 of those. Plus some good naps today. Although he was extra fussy today, there were also moments where he was SO happy. SO happy - even for him. I almost started crying just witnessing the pure joy that was radiating from him. Oh sweet baby love.

Now it is snowing outside and daddy is home and all is well.

Day 22: Studio Hopper

Day 22:
Yoga I 90 minutes (class)

My body was really sore today from our intense class yesterday! Also, I just feel kind of out of it - shaky and not all there. I wonder if it's because I released so many toxins from yoga - especially in my shoulders. We did great shoulder work and I made a lot of space in my shoulders - I can feel it. That's also where I store tension, pain, and I think childhood pain as well. So if I loosened that up it would make sense that I feel weird with those toxins released into my system.

Anyways, today I went to a level I class at the studio where Jude and I do mommy/baby yoga. This studio focuses on anatomy and really spending time getting the proper alignment. It was really helpful, as I'm trying to work on that rather than just getting into a pose as fast as I can - no matter how improper!

I am SO excited for the holidays. It's getting cold outside and I just want to cherish these moments as best I can, as I know holidays can zoom by in a whirlwind.

Day 21: Family Yoga

Day 21
Hatha Yoga - 90 minutes.

Spent the night at my mom's and took her & Megan to a yoga class this morning. Mom had purchased a month package, but was too intimidated to go. So I made her go! It was really great - challenging but the instructor encouraged everyone to go at their own pace. It was at 8 in the morning and I'm so glad we got up and did it!

Day 20: Me & Pooh

Day 20
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

Tonight I did yoga with my sister, Megan, and I led her with directions while we did it. :) She said I should be a yoga instructor, and I agree. Someday I would LOVE to do that. I hope it brought her a little bit of ease and peace, she's going through a lot right now.

Day 19: I Don't Have a Clever Title

Day 19
AM Yoga Flow 10 minutes
PM Yoga Flow 20 minutes

19 days in... I'm likin' it! I don't have much to say. But I'm full of love for those around me... and myself.

Day 18: I miss Sleep

Day 18
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

I just wonder, 'when will I sleep 8 hours again?'. Or 7, or 6, even 5...

Day 17: Tuesdays are the new Mondays

Day 17
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

It's true... Mondays I am usually raring to go. Ready to make the most of my day. But, Tuesdays I'm all out of steam. Today I almost just stayed on the couch all day.... I am sooooo tired. It feels like there is a baby kicking me (from the outside) every hour upon the hour all night long. Oh wait, there is! So, there I was, on the couch, and I'd pretty much made up my mind to stay there and try to snooze when Jude napped. Something came over me and told me to "buck up" and power through. So I did. :)

Day 16: Long Day and a Great One Too

Day 16
Namaste Yoga "Firebird" (DVR) 30 minutes

Me and the babe got up early and it's amazing how productive I was all day long. We skyped with my sisters and played skype scattergories... a wonderful way to start the day! Probably the best ever.

All day long I multi tasked this & that, trying to be mindful when I was playing, nursing, or caring for Jude. Just being aware and trying to experience his smells, noises, touch, needs, and NOT be multitasking in my head of what I wanted to do next.

I squeezed in a yoga practice while he was napping. And, although I'm not as graceful as the skinny ladies demonstrating on TV, I am becoming more aware of my alignment. I even practiced during the 2 commercial breaks... usually I just fast forward through them.

So, yeah. A busy day. And a great one. I feel like I made the most of it. Even if I was "just" staying home all day. I have been working all day on a Xmas present for Jude, but I can't tell you what it is. It's a surprise. :)




sweetness hanging out with me in my craft room



Day 15: You were right...

Day 15
Vinyasa Yoga Class 75 minutes

I told Miles that I wanted to go to class tonight... then I changed my mind because the class was across town, at a studio I hadn't been to since Prenatal Yoga almost 6 months ago, and I didn't know what to expect from it because "Vinyasa Yoga" is a pretty broad category and there was no description online. He pretty much made me go. And I'm glad he did.

Although, it wasn't easy. I met the instructor and told her my story. She proceeded to tell me that she's one of the more vigorous instructors and that I should take breaks whenever necessary. Then, I got into the room and the back row was already full with regular students. There was only room up front. So I set up my mat in the front row and tried to quiet my mind.

It was challenging. I worked up a little sweat and I know my legs will be sore tomorrow morning. But, I didn't have to take any breaks and I'm thankful for a real workout!

So, yes, Miles... you were right. I love you.

(And I just realized I'm 1/3 of the way into my 45 day venture! Whoopie!)

Day 14: Discouraged.

Day 14
Namaste Yoga DVR 25 minutes

Today was pretty discouraging, I'm not gonna lie. We spent all day at a craft fair, selling our wares. Or rather, NOT selling our wares. We did not do well and didn't even break even with our booth fee. I guess it happens to every business at sometime. But, when I got home, I just started getting really down on myself. I'm NOT throwing a pity party here. I am just trying to be honest. I started feeling like there is nothing that I do well. I have all of these different interests and avenues that I invest my time and myself into. And I just felt like I don't commit myself entirely to any of them. I wanted to just cry to myself, but I didn't want Miles to know because I knew he'd try to cheer me up. I just wanted to feel my feelings. So I did the dishes and folded laundry all the while crying to myself. And then I started to think how pathetic it is that when I want to be alone, I do chores.

Ugh. I'm pathetic.

Of course, Miles did notice and DID try to cheer me up by telling me that I'm such a good mom, wife, sister, etc etc etc.

Day 13: Thanks, Rach!

Day 13
Yoga Burn DVD 25 minutes

My sis is out of town (miss you!) and I was at her place today, since I volunteered to pick up her sweet little boy from school. While there, I wanted to nap, but instead I did yoga! I put on Rachel's clothes, pulled out Rachel's yoga mats (one for me, one for the babe) and popped in Rachel's DVD! Thanks Rachel! It was super hard, that Rodney Yee is all muscle! But I did a little bit of it! It's been a super busy day and we are all finally home.

Day 12: Happy Anni to Me!!!

Day 12
Mom & Baby Yoga class

We had a great hour of yoga this morning. Four babies were chill enough for their mammas to get some pretty good yoga practice in. Of course, the class is an hour and fifteen minutes long and during that last chunk Jude decided he'd rather eat. :) But, I still LOVE going to classes. I've been looking for more mom & baby classes to check out, but I can't seem to find one that fits into our schedule. Maybe I need to start attending an evening or weekend class once a week, just for me... hmmm.

Today is November 11th and it's a very special anniversary for me. Probably no one else cares anymore, but six years ago today I quit smoking cigarettes!!! Yay for me. Good job, Becky. I remember something I  learned in, like, 8th grade health, and it's always stuck with me. We learned that 7 years after you quit smoking, your lung tissue will have healed back to their original condition. So, whether that's true or not, I believe that I'll have perfect lungs in a year. :)

I noticed something, and I don't want to jinx it by writing about it, but I'm going to anyway. I think that practicing yoga daily is helping my sleep habits. I've been a "night owl" my entire life: I've always had trouble falling asleep. Presently I have TERRIBLE sleep habits 1. because my baby boy likes to wake up every 1-3 hours all night long and 2. i still can't fall asleep most nights despite how overly exhausted and sleep deprived I am. BUT the past two nights I've actually fallen into a deep sleep quite early and effortlessly. I think it may be a benefit from practicing yoga every day. Let's hope it continues!! I woke up 4 or 5 nights ago and  realized something even more exciting: my jaw didn't hurt at all!!! In addition to staying up into the wee hours of the morning, I also clench my jaw and grind my teeth while I sleep. :( Most nights my jaw would be sooo tense and painful when I awoke. But, I think yoga may actually be healing that painful habit as well.

My mom needs to sleep.

Day 11: !!

Day 11
PM Yoga Flow 10 minutes

I have to remind myself not to worry about how much yoga I get done each day. The important thing is that I do SOME yoga daily. This is not about working out or losing weight. This is just about practicing some yoga everyday. And I'm doing well so far.

Day 10: Get it while you can

Day 10
Yoga Energizing Flow 10 minutes
Namaste Yoga - Spinal Twist 25 minutes


I wanted to drink a glass of wine. I wanted to eat a cupcake. It was about 5pm and I was stalking SubFinder to line up a job for next week. No luck. Jude was happy in his high chair. Throwing books and toys on the floor. How did we get here already? How are we already in multiple teeth/sippy cup/and throwing toys off of our high chair-land??? He's a "real" baby already, not the fragile, wrinkled, tree-frog newborn that I brought home 23 weeks ago. And he's all boy. By that I mean that he is busy, kicking, climbing, scooting, rolling, active, spitting, making fart noises, excited, talking, jumping, springs in his legs, doesn't sit still unless he's asleep, 100% baby boy.




Who, me?


INSTEAD I made a cup of tea and I got down with some impromptu yoga in the kitchen. Jude was entertained for about 10 minutes before he wanted to get out & down. And, afterward, I do feel calmer. I can wait to have my glass of wine with dinner. I may still eat a cupcake for dessert. But, I got a little bit of yoga in for today... day 10. And perhaps I'll squeeze in a little bit more before the night is through.

UPDATE: I just finished a yoga program that I had recorded on the DVR. I feel good that I got some more yoga in today. I miss my "Yoga Way to Motherhood" class that we have been going to on Tuesdays. :(
I thought Jude would sleep through it, but he woke up just as I began. That's alright though, because he just chilled and played with his toys while I practiced. Except just as I was finishing he did something new. (Like he seems to do twice a day at least!) He was playing on his quilt on the floor, and then all of the sudden he noticed the DVD player, which is in a cabinet near floor level. He set his sights on it and scooted all the way up to it, like he wanted to push the buttons! Who is this baby boy scooting across the floor??? Someday soon I'm going to have to get out of denial and just admit that he is crawling.

Day 9: 45 is a lot!

Day 9
Yoga Now DVD 30 minutes

Yeah, I am 9 days in and 45 is starting to seem like a big number! Not that I don't want to follow through, because I LOVE doing yoga everyday. But, I'm almost to 10 and I have to do THAT 4 and 1/2 times! Ha! Maybe that is why every time I tried to apply the "give it 45 days" mantra in my life... I just kind of lost track and forgot about my problem. Is that what you meant UC??

Today I taught 3rd graders again and it was actually fun. It's nice subbing for the same group of kids because I feel like I know all of them now and I get a kick out of their wacky personalities. Not that it was a perfect day! The morning was rough and I had to be a little bit mean. :( I HATE feeling like I am the "noise police" when I sub. That is not what teaching or learning is about! But, our afternoon was enjoyable. We had an engaging math lesson and I had an hour of time with no lesson plans, so I did an art lesson on the fly. They loved it and so did I. I couldn't leave until 4 though, (they don't like it when you leave early) and the last 20 minutes seemed to take FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanted to go home and see my baby!!!!!!!!!!!

A HUGE thank you to my dear friend, Emily, for taking care of Jude today! You are amazing and he loves you. He watched you out of the window until you drove away. :)



I think he likes you. :)



Day 8: Quickie

Day 8
Yoga Flow 15 minutes

Day 7: I am Bethany

Day 7
Energizing AM Flow - 10 minutes

This morning I woke up at 5AM and, though I dozed off here and there until about 8, I didn't get any restful sleep from then on. At 5 I woke up excited... probably because it's my sister, Rachel's, birthday! I'm so excited to see her this afternoon & just celebrate the truly inspirational, joyful, joyous, glittering woman that she is.

My husband had to run off on an important errand and my baby was way too energetic to just lay in bed. He is SUCH a morning baby! He is all smiles and kicks and giggles and energy in the morning. It's a good quality... not one that I possess... but one that maybe he'll hold on to! So, after a couple of hours of laundry, dishes, baby care, baby bath, rocking and nursing, he was ready to take a nap. Then it was my time. I just finished my AM flow, and though it was 10 minutes, it truly is energizing. It's rewarding to see improvement, because the key move (for me) is a deep standing lunge. Usually I have terrible balance and it's frightfully embarrassing to do this pose in front of other people. But, I'm getting a little bit better.

I also have a secret trick, a 'mantra', if you will. When I am doing something physically challenging such as trying to run or hold a difficult pose I say to myself (sometimes out loud), "I am Bethany." My sister, Bethany, does all sorts of challenging physical things. She also possesses this amazing charismatic energy. When I say, "I am Bethany" to myself, somehow I stand up straighter - taller, I feel stronger and more powerful, and focused. It fills me with a sense of energy and grace. And, maybe this is an odd thing to do, I don't know. But it helps me. Since my sis is some distance away from me at the moment, I hope she doesn't mind me syphoning off some of her energy in this way.

Oh my God, he was soooo tiny.

Day 6: Jude Stretch

Day 6
PM Yoga Flow 15 minutes

Today I spent 8 hours teaching third graders & Jude stayed home with his papa. I had substituted for this particular class earlier in the school year, and when I asked them if they remembered me, they said, "Yes! You taught us the 'Jude Stretch'!" Then I recalled that I had incorporated little yoga breaks throughout the day, and I had showed them the stretch that my little guy does where he claps his hands together, raises them above his head and then lets both of his arms go out to the side! Aw, it was so cute that they remembered. So, that is one way that I fit at least some yoga into my day! Whenever the kids started to get antsy I would work in a little "Jude Stretch" along with some other simple yoga stretches. Good teacher trick. ;)

"Happy Baby Pose" - it's a real thing!

The baby is so busy! When I finally made it home after a loooong 8 hours, I swear, it looked like he grew. And he is grabbing anything and everything that is in front of him. Watch out, world!

So, yes, my day was long and exhausting. When I got home I was pooped and I was STARVING. Around 7 or so I started to get a little bit grumpy (sorry, Miles). 15 minutes of yoga is not ideal, but it is something! And after I practiced, I felt much more cheery and at ease.

G'Nite.





Day 5: Bumpin up & down in my little red wagon...

Day 5
Mommy/Baby Yoga Class

This is our third time going to the Mom & Baby yoga class held at a studio near our house. Last week we missed it because we were sick, so I was excited to go today! It was lovely, and there were three other mommies & babies there today. I love connecting with the other moms and it helps me work on not comparing myself or my baby to anyone else, but instead focusing on the wonder of how we are all so different. Don't get me wrong, it's extremely comforting to chat about our similar experiences, especially our challenges. I think it's just dangerous when we compare too much and worry, "What am I doing wrong?"

Hahaha, I am cracking up because I just got a phone call from Jude's Grandpa Norm, who is in the process of handcrafting a little red wagon for the boy... bitching about how he has spent hundreds of dollars worth of materials, and 40 hours of labor into it already... and we all know that he is loving every second of it.





One wheel's off & the axle's broken...



Day 4: Warm & Sunny November 3rd???

Day 4
Relaxation Yoga Flow 15 minutes

I had one of those busy but lovely days today. Jude and I got to spend time with Miles, My Mother, Rachel and Eli... and it's always a great day when I get to see my loved ones. But, with running around town, trying to get errands done, and taking care of the important business of life, it's hard to squeeze yoga in. That's alright though, because at the end of a long and busy day I made it a priority to practice my nighttime flow which promotes relaxation, and also promotes a healthy spine. Caring for my whole body, but back especially, helps me with those issues that come up when carrying a 16+ lb baby boy on my hip, front, and what have you.

So, I just finished and I feel peaceful and centered. Aaaaaahh. I also incorporated a bit of "Metta" Meditation... which also helps to soothe the body and spirit.

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

It's as simple as that.
G'Nite.

Day 3 - Honor thy Mother

Day 3
Yoga Way to Motherhood - Final Class

What a beautiful fall Tuesday. I've had such a lovely day. Last night, after Jude's sudden mobility developmental spurt, we were lying in our bed together and I was feeling the inside of his gums... to my surprise I felt something sharp bite down on my finger!!! OMG his first tooth has broken the surface of his gums and is VISIBLE to the naked eye!!! I'm so proud and delighted I could cry. :)

My punkin head.

For the past 5 Tuesday mornings, Jude and I have attended our "Yoga Way to Motherhood" class. It's a beautiful little class that followed up on our "Yoga Way to Birth" series. We meet and discuss the reality of mothering, connect with other moms, and practice yoga and meditation. Today our focus was on honoring mothers. The instructor is a woman who has such beautiful & powerful energy; someone I really admire as a person and as a mother. It's been such a good experience and I'm kind of sad that it's come to an end. But, even more so, I'm thankful that I took the time and energy to prioritize it into my life.

Let me just take a moment here to honor all of the mothers I know, the ones that I don't know, all of the mothers mothering today, and all of those who have come before... the work that you do is valuable, meaningful, beautiful, hard, and necessary to the very core of our society and humanity itself. THANK YOU.

Thank you, mamma.

After that, we came over to my sister's to hang out with her little family. We have been walking around the neighborhood, having great conversations, and watching our boys play together. We just got back from the park and Eli taught me a new song about pumpkins. What a perfect day.



Our boys - the airplane & the lobster.



Day 2: Jude's Plank Pose

Day 2
Yoga Flow 5 minutes
Yoga Now DVD 30 minutes

Jude fell asleep on the couch, so I thought I'd squeeze in a little yoga. I had a great 5 minute session of the "energizing" yoga flow my instructor suggested recently in our "Yoga Way to Motherhood" class. Then those bright blue eyes popped open! No problemo... after a diaper change and some snuggles, I set him on his quilt next to me on the floor and popped in the 30 minute "Yoga Now" DVD.

He's pretty good about giving me space to practice yoga. He just watches me and SMILES! He thinks it's amusing. And he scootched closer and closer to me until he was snuggling up with my arm about 10 minutes into the warm up. Do you know that phase of baby development when they are figuring out how to get around/ like they are on the verge of crawling... they somehow get from here to there but unless you watch them very closely it is a mystery how they do it!?  During my yoga practice today I had one eye on Jude while he was next to me on the floor. In the past couple of weeks he has been noticeably scootching backwards, but today he did something NEW! He pushed up so that he was balancing on his toes and hands only (like in a plank pose) and pushed off with his feet to "jump" or propel himself sideways!

                                     Belly time a month ago... Time Flies.



My practice was enjoyable. I was not super focused because I kept one eye on Jude and turned it into baby play time too. (My child's pose was over a giggeling child as I tickled his inner thighs with my chin - love me some baby chuckles!)
Yoga Now is a DVD set that I have used before. It is supposed to be an "Americanized" version of yoga - in that it includes some cardio moves along with yoga. The other noticable difference is that they don't say "Namaste" at the end - which seems weird to me. At any rate, it helped me a few years ago when I was determined to lose weight before my wedding. At the time I was out of shape, a little depressed I think, and I've never been what you would call "athletic". So, preparing for my wedding, I was motivated to get out of that funk and drop some lbs. to look good for the big day. And, I met that goal! I dropped about 25 pounds with the help of the DVDs, some Bikram (hot) Yoga and traditional cardio exercise (I did a lot of elliptical at the gym). I also started to eat A LOT better than I ever had in my life.

Anyways, this time it's not really about losing weight. This venture is more for overall self-improvement, self-prioritizing, and to focus on living in the moment.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. After my yoga practice, I had to text my family to tell them about Jude Bear's new milestone! I sent a text that said he is now moving backwards & sideways, and that I thought forward motion would be coming soon. About a minute after I sent that text off, Jude got up into his baby plank pose again and pushed off with those toes, and jumped forwards towards my lap.

Day 1: Why Yoga?

Why anything? Why would I choose to burden myself with setting a goal when I'm already going through so much transition in my life? I gave birth to my son 5 months ago, and my life has been turned upside down and inside out! Yes, I am experiencing the joys of motherhood and I love my baby dearly. But, I'm also experiencing the identity crisis of new motherhood that no one seems to want to talk about in our society!!!

Yeah, I take on too much. It's one of my flaws. I think that I have to be able to do it all and I am a perfectionist when it comes to how I go about doing it. So why am I trying to be a blogger and a yogi on top of everything else???

                                         About to birth: Bring it.


Simple: I'm doing this for ME. In 2000 I took my very first yoga class. Over the past decade I've taken god knows how many yoga classes, practiced dvd's at home, and have experimented with yoga of all sorts and styles! I am hooked, but I've never considered myself a yogi. Why? Because, for one, I have terrible balance. Two, I am super self conscious and haven't been able to get over criticising myself during my practice. Good yogis accept themselves and their bodies for what they are capable of that day. During my pregnancy I fell in love with yoga all over again. Me and the fetus went to prenatal yoga classes 2 or 3 times a week and we also practiced at home. The husband and I chose to take a "Yoga Way to Birth" series instead of the traditional birth preparation courses that are offered. And my body thanked me for it. When I slipped and fell on a pool deck ON MY DUE DATE my body instictually landed in a lunge pose, saving my 40 week belly and baby from any trauma. During the final phase of birth I folded myself IN HALF and WATCHED Jude's head grow bigger and bigger (and watched my labia stretch past the point I ever imagined was possible) and I saw the moments that my son entered the outside world. It felt like it was happening an inch away from my face. And maybe it was, I was pretty bendy. ;)
I credit much of the positive experience of my pregnancy to my yoga practice.

                                         We did it! Thanks, yoga!


Alright, I need to wrap this up because Jude needs my attention. Basically, I love yoga. If I could do anything I would do yoga all of the time. I can see myself totally embracing a yoga lifestyle and mindset. I'm doing this for me. I know that it will benefit me physically, spiritually and emotionally. I know that when I spend some energy caring for myself, it directly benefits my loved ones and allows me to care for them better.  So there. That's why I chose this goal for my 45 day endeavor.

Day 1 (which was yesterday Oct. 31)

Yoga Now DVD at home. 30 minutes. I'm easing into it.

UC's words of wisdom

My Uncle Cliff is full of wisdom. I see him as the keeper of our family history - with a unique perspective. He is an "outsider" because he married in to this wacky lineage, but he has been a part of it for almost 40 years and he knows. He knows. He knows all of the secrets and he will share them with you if you ask.

Ha. He is the patriarch of a branch of this family and I admire this smaller unit so very much. They have been through a lot together, from extreme joy to tragedy, and they have made it through together. They never seem afraid or embarrassed to be who they are. I love each member dearly.

                                          UC and AJ... 39 years!!!


But, my point is, that UC is a wise man. And he shared a little nugget of wisdom with me, one that he used when raising his son and his daughter, and one that gives me a sense of peace and comfort when I remember to remind myself of it. It's a secret I'll share with you: "Give it 45 Days." UC says that in any situation, be it a new job or a new school or a fight with a friend or a loved one, just give it 45 days to all settle in. I'm not sure exactly what you're supposed to do after 45 days are up... I'll have to ask UC.

That is my inspiration for this blog. Previously I tried to just blog about "life" but I was plagued with too many worries. What is the implication of being able to google my 5 month old son? Who would want to read about my boring life anyways? What if I share information that future employers find questionable? Mostly I just don't want to be judged. Yeah, I admit that I care what other people think of me. I try to pretend like I don't, but the truth is that I care. So there.

I love to set little goals for myself. Even more so, I love the feeling when I accomplish them. I am combining this love with UC's words to live by and I've set a little goal for myself. That is what I will be recording here.

My new 45 day goal is to practice yoga everyday for 45 days. Whether that be at home with a yoga DVD, attending a Yoga class, or merely doing my AM or PM "flow" that an instructor has recently shared with me, I am aiming to fit in some sort of yoga practice daily in my life. And hopefully this blog will keep me accountable. IDK, I'll give it 45 days...

                                         Pass on the wisdom to a new generation...