Day 42? Potty Training!

Thank you, Uncle Cliff! Apparently anything can be done if you "give it 45 days". I think that my little boy may actually be potty trained, and I can not take full credit at all. This is Very exciting. I'd like to thank my husband, the best team mate in parenting and family. I'd like to thank my neighbors, for not minding at all if my son is peeing in the front yard or in the middle of the street. I'd like to thank JUDE most of all for refusing to wear pull-ups! No, thank you for being such an amazing little boy who rocks the socks off of Life. You are the best and I'm so lucky to be your mom.

The CRAZY thing that blows my mind is that Jude just decided one day not to wear pull-ups when we left the house... and he has not had any accidents in his car seat, even on long drives, even sleeping in the car, and when he needs to go we make it work! He is courageously mastering public toilets that are not the ideal size and he is a spectacular hand washer. Even CRAZIER is that a little over a week ago he fell asleep while we were disagreeing about whether or not he needed to wear a night time pull-up. I was standing my ground, refusing to read him his good night book until he put one on. (I know, terrible mothering) He just fell asleep without a book and without pee protection. I was left to just have faith and see what happened. Amazingly, he stayed dry ALL NIGHT LONG!? I didn't get much sleep because I was constantly checking his pj's to make sure that he was not wet. (Here is another plus of co-sleeping!) The next night he did wet the bed, but the next night he woke up at 1:30 AM and had to pee, so I took him to the potty. I think he was half asleep on there, and it was adorable. Since then, he has stayed dry all night long!!! I don't know how this happened. I'm baffled, and extremely happy about it.

But, the CRAZIEST thing is that we just returned from a 3-night beach trip. Just In Case - I packed day time pull-ups, night time pull-ups, and a waterproof pad for the bed. I could have left all of these items at home!!! He made it the entire 2.5 hour car drive without an issue. He slept through the night and stayed dry all 3 nights. He peed in the big potties, in his little potty that I packed, in the sand, off the top deck, etc. It was awesome. Yeah, there was one moment where he pooped a little standing over a pillow. We got the rest of it in the potty. Yeah, there was another moment where he peed on his cousin's leg while they were playing in the sand. That was adorable.

Wish me luck, you guys. Obviously this journey isn't over. Someday I hope that he'll wear underwear. Someday I won't have to wipe his little butty-butt. Someday he won't ask for jelly beans after he pees. But, I am EnJoYiNg these days - right where we are.

 

*bask*

 

early morning tide pool adventures

 

father of the YeAr! 3 years & counting.

 

on the secret passage to the beach

 

I love being on your team.

SO Proud

Just when I've committed to letting Jude take the lead of his own potty training experience, guess what he chooses to do?!

Tonight he peed in a public toilet... for the first time!

I am beyond excited and proud of him. Talk about surrendering, trusting, respecting, and letting go of control. If you recall my last post, I was ready to relax in the phase that we find ourselves in right now. Jude was potty trained at home, wearing pull ups when we went out, peeing in the yard, and really taking himself to the bathroom without much help from me. On Friday the boys gave me a "day off"while Papa Bear took him to the zoo and other adventures. In the evening I ended up locking myself out of my Jeep, so they drove across town to rescue me. Only later did I discover that Jude made this trip (and another) sans pull up. Totally Daddy's choice - and Jude was even asleep for the hour car ride! My husband is a brave, brave man.

So, yesterday and today Jude resisted wearing a pull up when we left the house. I am not insane enough to argue with my potty-training-3-year-old, insisting that he put a pull up ON, so we've been following his lead and letting him make this choice. (Knock on wood) NO accidents yet! Tonight was the same thing. We really didn't feel like cooking so we treated ourselves to dinner. Jude wanted to go commando so we let him. At the restaurant he told me when he had to pee and we went to the bathroom. Well, you know the rest.

I. Am. So. Proud.

Current Endeavor: Potty Training

OK, if you don't have kids, I'm sure I've lost your interest already. If your kids are past the potty-training stage, you probably don't want to relive it. (Congratulations.) And if you have babies, I'll bet you don't want to go here yet. So, here we are: The Lucky Few of us here right in the thick of it.

Welcome.

Although not intentionally, this has been my current "45 day" experiment. I decided to commit to potty training my almost-3-year old son about 30 days ago. I have been keeping a journal about our experiences to help focus myself, stay present, and reflect. I chose not to blog about it as it was happening because, well, let's face it: it's a highly personal issue that involves HIS body. And I don't want to disrespect that. Also, I don't want to embarrass future Jude or his future crushes by revealing too much of the adorable and hilarious hijinks of potty training out here on the interwebs for all to see.

When I search mom forums & such I keep coming across this "3 day" potty training plan everyone raves about. Ugh. Like we need another practice in driving ourselves straight off the cliffs of insanity. Potty training is such a hot topic in the 2-3 year old circles, I just want to put my two cents out there.

I started by reading The No-Cry Potty Training Solution by, Elizabeth Pantley. I highly recommend this book for a starting point. She devised a quiz to take to see if you, and your child, are ready. We scored off the charts. But, I still knew that I wanted this more than my toddler at this point. Pantley insists that your job as a parent and teacher is to remain Positive and Patient throughout the process. She advises to stop at any time and hold off for a couple of months before restarting if it becomes a negative experience. So, this was my mantra some of these days: Positive and Patient. Patient and Positive. Pantley also insists that potty training mastery is when your days are accident free: nights are a different story. Nighttime dryness is purely biological and there is no reason to force this step. It will happen naturally. And, most importantly, she insists that potty training is a monthS long process.

Here's where I started:

THE PLANNING

I journaled about reasons why I feel that I want to do this now & also asked myself what signs I had that he was ready. Then, I set goals for NOW and for the next step.

My Goals for Now:
1. spend a lot of time at home - wearing NO diapers or pull ups (April was a good month for me, our commitments were minimal so I figured it was a good time)
2. Pull Ups are for when we go out & at night time/nap time
3. Pee in the Potty
4. Poop in the Potty
5. STAY relaxed and easy going
6. Above all, be positive, patient and encouraging
7. Enjoy the moment - this will not last forever. My baby boy is growing up, so BE PRESENT for this experience

This is phase one. And I predicted that phase two will happen after we master phase one. I defined mastery as: when Jude initiates potty use, going by himself, and having no accidents at home.
Phase two will be going potty in public places, wearing underwear (!), practicing at the bathrooms where he'll be attending preschool this fall, and starting night training if and only if he's ready.

A couple of notes: 1. Underwear. He doesn't want to wear it! During the past month I've had either a full nudist on my hands or a pantsless toddler. Which is fine by me, but I assume he'll warm up to undies eventually??? 2. For night time success I've got to limit liquids before bed, which makes me nervous because he drinks warm milk every night while we read stories. (It's the only way I got him off the boob!)

ABOVE ALL: I wrote that with my son, I want to consciously focus on what he CAN do and never, ever dwell on perceived "cant's" (not a word.) He is the joy of my life.

This is important to me, because when it comes to myself I am uber-critical and will get lost in thought whirlpools about what I'm NOT doing, etc... (I'm working on this) But, I DO. NOT. want to ever view my son in this light. It's so much lighter to bask in the miracle that he is.

THE PROCESS

Looking over my journal, during week one we had some accidents around the house, but also some pees and poops in the potty each day. Day 8 I had a text-off with a mom friend of mine who is going through the same phase. We were both feeling like we were trapped inside of a nuthouse. It really really helped to swap stories and frustrations, and to LAUGH about it all. By day 11 I decided to stick with what we were doing and reflect after 3 weeks. I also reminded myself to trust Jude - and to trust his body.
Day 18 it became less of a battle to take off that pull up first thing in the morning. (They are too damn comfortable & absorbent!) Somewhere around Day 20, he discovered the joys of peeing outside. :) He actually has a spot right off the front stoop that he'll run to and mark his territory. This is the only time that if he happens to have a pull up on, he'll pull it down to pee. I also happen to think the little arc fountain of pee is supremely adorable. (Sorry, future Jude.)

Day 21 was big: 1. He decided to wear pants - commando style. I think this is a step up from pantsless. 2. He was outside playing in the cul-de-sac with the neighbor kids and he yelled, "I'll be right back!" then ran into his own front yard to pee in the grass. I didn't have to initiate any of this. :)

So here we are, around day 33 and I am feeling great about it. We may have reached "mastery" of phase 1, according to my definition. He initiates his own potty use all of the time, for #1 and #2 now; and he hasn't had any accidents in over a week.

I am SO proud of him. It's amazing to bear witness to the independence that comes with this age, and the triumph of doing something "all by myself". He lights up when he shows me, "look mom! I put on my shoes all by myself! I'm big to do it!" I think we are just going to rest where we're at for a little bit, before I try to push any more goals or the next phase. I want him to enjoy this moment right now where he is successful, independent, and he's the leader. So, I think we're just gonna chill and celebrate the month of May - as my baby is turning 3 years old.

 

I'm big to do it! Now, help me down.

 

Bask.