Ring of Fire: Day 37 "Why am I awake?!"

I get that "nature is preparing me to be awake with the baby all night" as people love to say. But, guess what? I'm prepared. The past 31.99999 years I've been preparing. I'm a natural night owl. The past 3.25 years I've been preparing. I'm a mom.

Thank you, nature! I feel well prepared. What I'd love to be is well rested.

Tonight I took a relaxing bubble bath with lavender & Epsom salts. While listening to guided meditation for a healthy birthing experience. I actually fell asleep quite well. Then I woke up to pee. It was 12:15. I've peed 4 times since then. I've been lying in my bed, focusing on my breath. Doing "loving-kindness" meditation for myself, my babies, my family, and all of you. I feel very positive. But, I'd rather be asleep!

So... what more can I do???


Today is the last day in August, 2013. Sometime during the next month I will have my baby. I'm getting excited! But, I also feel really relaxed about it. It's funny, the first time I did this I felt like I prepared myself for "The Birth". After we got through The Birth it was like falling off of a cliff. Kind of like how a wedding can be if you're so focused on "THE BIG DAY" and lose sight of what happens after: marriage & the rest of your life. But, I didn't know!!! I didn't know I'd wake up absolutely DRENCHED in sweat from expelling so many hormones. I didn't know my ONLY job was to breastfeed. I didn't know that I really, really should have heeded those oft repeated words, "SLEEP WHEN YOUR BABY SLEEPS!"

Round two.

This time, I am more focused on protecting my space when I get home than giving birth. WAY more focused. I'm trying to enter this birthing experience with no expectations. The baby will come out. However this goes down, she will come out. When I get home I will sleep when she sleeps. I will not try to keep my house presentable for company. I will not try to entertain anyone. I will lay in my bed on a towel and breastfeed. I will lean on my family & friends for support. I will accept any help graciously. I will snuggle with Miles, Jude, and Scarlett. I will be kind to my body and rest so that I may heal fully. I will breathe in the cupcake scent of my new daughter. I will breathe in the still oh so sweet scent of my 3 year old son. I will re-enter the real world when I'm good & ready.

I'm so excited.

Here is a little song that Jude Bear wrote & sings to his Baby Sister while snuggling with the belly:

"Baby, don't cry.
Your Mommy's here.
Your Daddy's here.
Your Brother's here.
There are no shooters, no dinosaurs, no dragons
coming through the door.
No one will bite you or throw fire at you."

Scar Bear, I think you have the BEST big brother.

*bask*