Ring of Fire: Day 18 "Whoa." or "Hold your Horses"

My due date is in a month. From today.
Time can go ahead and slow the F down right now, mmmkay?
Please?

I've started to blog a couple of times & been pulled away by other things.
There is so much to say.
I'm only writing now because I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. (I do NOT recommend getting on the computer when this happens!)
My poor husband just stumbled out here to see if I was okay.

So, I'll keep this as short & sweet as I can.

My meditation challenge:
Today is day 8. It's going really well. I've been able to meditate each day and I'm getting a lot out of it. Some of the lessons are hard. It's about "Miraculous Relationships" and lately I've been learning a lot about myself and how I relate to others. I'm introverted and it can be challenging for me to make and keep friends, and I'm sensitive about how I interact with others. But, I'm learning a lot, taking risks, and benefiting from putting myself out there. Basically I need to relax, not try so hard, and not fear the worst.

Hospital Tour:
The hospital where we will deliver opened last Tuesday. We toured it Wednesday night. I'm looking forward to delivering there, mainly because of the prioritized midwife care, staff and policies that are supportive of natural labor, and also family friendly and baby friendly policies. Like, there are no set visiting hours or limitations on who is with you when. That decision is totally up to us. There is a brand new Jacuzzi tub that you can bet your sweet bum I will be utilizing. Birth balls and squatting bars available. And, because the place is brand spanking new, it is gorgeous. It is also a "green" hospital.
My ONE complaint is that in the delivery room private bathrooms there is a shower but no bath tub. The educator leading the tour felt the same way I did and could offer no explanation why the choice was made to omit bath tubs. With my first birthing experience, the bath tub played a major role. I was in a frog squatting position in the tub during the moments that lead up to my transition to the pushing phase. I felt that it helped move things along and get Jude's body and my body into optimal places for our birth.
But, I have no control over this and I need to let it go. This birth will be different, and I have different tools available. It was a spontaneous decision with Jude, and this birth story will be full of it's own twists, turns, and surprises. That's what makes it fun, right?

Mama needs to get ready:
Whoa, I have a big to do list, especially being a month out. Typing up a birth plan, packing a bag, prepping my house, washing baby clothes, and enjoying each day with my son. In addition to a birth plan, I also want to type up a "tool box" page to remind me of everything I've been practicing and is available to me. This will include breathing exercises, positions, yoga positions, and various techniques to work with discomfort. I'd like this birth to be unmedicated as far as discomfort and "speeding up" or assisting labor. Also, I want to type up helpful phrases and reminders that my husband, mom, and whoever else is there for support can verbally say to me. It's different when you hear these things from outside of your head. It's more effective for me, and I know at some point my mind will surrender to my body during labor and birth... I'm looking forward to that.
This may not be making any sense, let me give an example. With Jude, a Saint of a Midwife told me to relax my shoulders, jaw, and the rest of my body so that all of that energy can be utilized by my uterus. Of course, I knew this, but I forgot. In the moment I was tensing up. As soon as she said it, it was easy to let the tension go.
Another example: when I was pushing, all I wanted to hear was that the way I was pushing was effective. I'd never used my body to push out a baby before. My mind was Gone and I was operating completely on instincts. As soon as my mom confirmed that I was doing exactly what I needed to do, I could just go with it. Basically, "Am I doing this right? Is this how you push out a baby?" - "Yes. You are pushing beautifully." - Sweet. 37 minutes of pushing and my sweet baby boy was in my arms. But, my brain. My brain? In my experience I was a Mother Bear. Somewhere deep in the wilderness. Birthing in the mud as rain, wind and lightening stormed all around me. Naked and wild.

If you've never given birth, that part might make sense to you when it does happen. I hope it will. It was the most amazing experience and I felt more alive, natural, empowered, powerful, and connected to the earth, life, and death - as I never have before.

Baby Shower:
Really, this deserves it's own post, but now is all I have. On Saturday my Saint of a Mother hostess-ed a double baby shower for my beautiful sister and I. Rachel is having a baby boy in December and I can't express in words how much I'm enjoying this time where we get to share in this experience together. We were surrounded by such inspirational, supportive women. We laughed a lot. We were absolutely spoiled with clothes, gifts, and goodies from our family and friends.
Rachel and I have shared a lot in this lifetime. She's two years younger than I am, so she is the closest in age to me out of all four of my sisters. We have tons of pictures of us in coordinating outfits, many hand made by our Angel Mother. Many pictures of us laughing and smiling as only two uninhibited children can do. I have so many amazing memories of our childhood, our adolescence, young adulthood, and now adulthood, families, and motherhood with this woman. It was so great just to sit with her on the couch, opening all of these gifts, seeing what she got, sharing what I got, hugging, laughing, smiling... basking.
Sisters.

The shower had a "nesting" theme. (I know, my mom is freaking adorable!) There were little cupcakes with coconut "nest" topping and two little jelly bean eggs on each one. Hash brown "nests" to be filled with beans, sour cream, salsa, guacamole (This snack WILL be making more appearances at family get togethers, I can tell!). We played "nesting" Scattegories. Our cousin Jamie even wrapped her gift in an egg carton with socks and other little gifts in each compartment. Whatever. How Cute is that???

I was just so happy. My community - my tribe - is so loving and supportive and I know that I am Beyond Blessed.

 

 

 

Just the four of us.

 

Back 2 back.

With our beautiful niece, Gwen.

 

And, of course, my Jude Bear:

We have been taking it easy as much as we can, but still fitting in a lot of fun. We're coming out of a 3 day weekend with Daddy where we went to Science Class at the Children's Museum, had a sushi date, Baby Shower, cousin and uncle JoeyJoe time, walks with Daddy, playing outside with the neighborhood kids, and just enjoying our loving family. Oh, and lots of books, of course. The kid likes to READ!

 

Jude & Daddy "testing Ph" in Science Class.

 

My happy boy.

 

 

Alrighty, people! Here we go! Let's see what the next month brings.

 

 

 

 

*bask*