Ring of Fire: Day 12 "Mommy Needs a Time Out"

Disclaimer: Officially, my child is a Saint, of course.  Saint Jude.  I know families with kids who are much more challenging. But, even a Saint has his moments... especially when he's 3.

Do time outs even work??? Not for me. But, it's one of my fall back strategies when I just can't deal anymore. When my dress has been pulled on one too many times as I walk back and forth across the house. When I've asked one too many times for him to stop. When I've threatened that if he pulls on it one more time, he has to take a time out.

So there we are. I have to follow through of course???

I try.

And I try to follow through. Each time he comes out of his room, 4 seconds after I've put him there. I diligently bring him back. I stay calm.

I try.

But, he's come out 12 too many times. I've lost track. So I give up.

Epic Mom Fail.

No Follow Through.

Worst Mom Ever Award.

So, I keep calm and quiet. I let him do his thing without discussion. I actually don't talk to him at all. And he plays contently by himself.

Then, after a while, we reconnect. He says, "I'm listening now." With his angelic smile, face, eyes, eyebrows, cute little bangs. Cute little cheeks. We hug and kiss.

We both feel better.

Toddler time outs don't work. What does work? What would work? If only I could get him to cooperate, I think a Mommy Time Out would be oh so so so so so effective. It's me who is on edge. I'm the one who is tired and cranky. I am the one who needs a break. I am 31 and 1/2 years old. Can I PLEASE set a timer for 31 and 1/2 minutes and sit in a dark room with nothing to distract me??? If I need to, I can cry until I feel better. If it's a rough day, I can scream, I can punch my pillow, I can write in my diary, I can curse the world up and down. I can get it out however I need to without hurting myself or others. And once it's out I can have a calm and loving discussion with someone who loves me unconditionally.
I'm not even there yet.
I very rarely get there.
Typically, like today, I would sit in my special time out place. Alone. Free from toys, electronics, anything that will distract me. I would reflect on my attitude and how I'm feeling. I will make a different choice to be kinder to my loved ones. To listen to my child. To slow down. To let the little things go. To realize that if he's following me around, pulling on my dress, maybe I could just STOP. Stop whatever I was doing and give him my full attention. Read one too many books. (We're already up to at least 10.)  To be Loving.

For 31 and 1/2 minutes.

Okay, I'll be 32 in October, so I will round up.

Come on, this is a billion dollar idea. We just need the toddlers to get on board.