Just imagine for a moment....
One of those gymnasts who seem inhumanly strong and can seemingly levitate their bodies, supporting their weight on just one pinky finger. This is the predicament I found myself in this morning.
Jude had a GREAT poop! (I'm sorry, but Moms are obsessed with poop) It was soft and squishy, instead of a hard rabbit pellet poop. It had a wonderful consistancy, not too wet. AND you could see the different colors of the different foods he's been eating! Those are my favorite poops.
It was the perfect texture to just wedge itself up the entire length of his buttcrack! Now you see my predicament. As Jude bends his torso over so that he can hold on to the ledge of his changing table with his arms, he would usually love to turn his entire body over and crawl away! Or at least sit up - come on, mom, this laying down position is of no use to a busy baby boy.
Meanwhile I am trying desperately not to smear feces all over the changing table or his body, so I am keeping ahold of his feet as he lengthens his body out and twists his entire body to the side - levitating everything below his arms. Engaging his buttcheeks, abs, and leg muscles to keep his entire body stiff. I am wiping blindly, hoping that I am getting all of the poop out and away.
Your future looks bright, Jude.
You just might be headed there with poop in your crack.
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| I'm too busy for this nonsense! |
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