I expect & accept Abundance to flow easily to me...

Day 11

Hmmm, am I posting today because 11 is my super favorite number?? I wonder...

I'm a little bit sad because I'm more than halfway through the 21 day challenge. Only 10 days left. I think around day 09 I was more like, "Ack, this is taking forever!!!" And now, here I am. :)
Taking this time daily is benefiting my life in huge ways. My inner life, anyway, and I'm sure my outer "self" as well. Just having a mantra, a focusing thought, SOMETHING positive to turn to when I find myself dangerously close to being caught in a negative thought web... this is a priceless tool. It reminds me of years ago, when I was 23, and I started taking antidepressants. They helped me at the time because I could step outside of my head and RECOGNIZE "HEY! This is a super negative thought whirlpool that you are being sucked into!!" There is another way...

And I much prefer meditation to icky addictive antiD's. Blech.

So, I just got done with my meditation and even threw in some yoga to boot. HA! Because my kiddo is taking a nap. Sweet, sweet boy.

Lately he says, "I'm big to do this!" "Hey mommy, I'm big to do these stairs all by myself!" etc...
He's big enough. He sees himself as a big boy and different from , and not, a baby. We even looked through photo albums this morning, as we often do, "Hey mommy! You hold me when I was a baby." When I was a baby.... Sigh. He still smells so damn good to me. Do all children smell like sweet sweet cupcakes to their mom??? I could inhale him all day long. And I do.

I'm so lucky.
Blessed.

Highlights from our walk to the park:
1. Looking at his little face poking through a cut out in the tunnel. Squishy little face. Beautiful teeth. Perfect nose. Again - that delicious smell. We ugga-mugga and our noses shock each other. A look of surprise on both our faces. Laughter. We try it again. No shock this time. But, oh dear God, that face.
2. Eating a snack on the bench. He wants to eat the apple like I do. He takes a bite and hands it back to me. So proud of himself. So am I. I take a bite and almost throw up in my mouth because there is Cheeze-It cracker residue in my mouth mixed with the apple. But I hide it well. Blech. It only happens one more time.
3. We play "ninja turtles" "hide and go seek" "billy goats gruff" and "3 little pigs" Big boy indeed.
We play 3 pigs, and I am the big bad wolf. He hides behind a fence - his house - I knock and go through the routine. A few times through pass, again. I say, "Little pig, little pig let me come in!!!" He says "Sure!" Opens the door and lets me in. If only you could hear his little voice say, "Sure!" I don't know how to explain the positivity, joy, sparkle love for life that he captures in this one syllable.
My boy.
My amazing little boy.
My big boy.
There are explosions of golden light sunbeams of JOY to be found in my days.
Countless.

Does anything else even matter?