If you think about it, breastfeeding is just absolutely amazing in itself. Mothers are the true superheroes. We can grow humans within our own bodies, birth them into the world, and CONTINUE to provide all of their growing needs with milk from our breasts. Thank you, Mother Nature.
I am so extremely grateful to my own mother for breastfeeding me - for 2 years. I'm grateful that she breastfed my three younger sisters for 2-3 years each. She provided me with this example of what it means to care for children in this way. Breastfeeding not only provides all the nutritional needs babies need physically, but also the attachment & bonding needs that we have as human animals. Thank you, Mom. Thank you for making this my knowledge of what is normal, healthy, and so so beautiful.
When I even began considering to have a child, this was my norm. I always said, "I'll breastfeed my baby for 2 years." Because my own mom did this - she is beyond amazing - and I strive to be as good of a mom as she is.
I know that many women have challenges when it comes to breastfeeding, and I know that I was very, very lucky. I was able to birth my child naturally, vaginally, without pain medication, and I was able to breastfeed him within minutes of giving birth. These were ideal circumstances, at least in my vision of what is ideal.
Not that everything came easy. It hurt tremendously when my baby nursed on my left nipple. I think this was because my mom tweaked the nip SO HARD earlier on when we were trying to get labor moving along with some nipple stimulation. (She's a Labor & Delivery nurse, so this is not as creepy as it may sound.) I had to work to get a comfortable position for feeding & latching on. The "football" hold was my go-to position early on. I never knew such a thing existed until the nurse at the hospital introduced me to it! I also experienced a lot of pain from hunching over & nursing with bad posture. Like, pain that led me to tears. A friend of mine lent me her "breast-friend" nursing pillow, and a boppy would also do the trick. This "breast-friend" was truly a godsend. It is a weird contraption that you buckle around your body & it's like a little shelf that you rest your infant on while you nurse. Bizarre. But, SO helpful. A couple of months in I had a crazy fever and I assumed I had the flu. I was burning up, but also suffering from chills at the same time. I was wrapping myself in blankets in the middle of the summer. I did not realize that this was MASTITIS until I called my doctor & the advice nurse asked me if my breasts were painful. Yes, my left one was and I didn't even make the connection. Honestly, I didn't even know what Mastitis was. I had heard of "breast infections" but I was a bit ignorant, I guess. And, when it came to pumping; I never got more than 2oz at a time, and I worked as a substitute teacher - which was not ideal at all for trying to pump on the job.
But, as I look back, I have very fond & positive feelings about the whole breastfeeding experience. My baby was always hungry & I was always willing to feed him. Day or night. He grew splendidly. He never had an ear infection. He was sick maybe twice in the first year. He had the happiest demeanor I could have ever hoped for, and he was very easy going. We were very easy going with each other. I had no qualms about breastfeeding him in public. I never heard a negative comment from anyone - if there were dirty looks, I never noticed them. I'm thankful that my husband was completely supportive of my choices to breastfeed, to breastfeed for 2 years, to breastfeed in public, and I had his full support in all of my opinions and wants for parenting. I'm just following my instincts, and when I question myself he brings me back to my instincts. That's probably the toughest thing about being a first time parent. There are so many "experts" and professional opinions that you don't know who to listen to. I felt like I've never done this before, other people probably know better than I do, and I second guess myself quite often. I tend to go back & forth, but ultimately I always come back to my "gut" feelings.
Looking back over the last 27 months, I have so many sweet memories of breastfeeding. His little eyes looking up at me with complete trust, safety & love. Breastfeeding at weddings, the pumpkin patch, the zoo train, on picnic tables (which are the PERFECT height for breastfeeding!), in the middle of the night, for hours in the morning, in our rocker, eating with one hand, doing lots of things with one hand, slowing down to simply soak up those moments, on airplanes, even once in the car on the road (I wasn't driving & he was never unbuckled).
Today is the third day that he's had no "Na-Nas". I'm so proud of him & I feel like I waited until the right time. Day 1, he was upset with me for a few minutes at nap time. Day 2 he was INCREDIBLY pissed at 6:30 AM. But, this morning he woke up, asked to hold the Na-Nas, looked at me and said,
"I'm not sad." What?!?! My kid is so smart.
Hopefully I'm not speaking too soon on the matter. But, I feel like we're going to be just fine.
Thank you, Na-Nas.
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